Keziah Hill

I mentioned in a previous post I wanted to see Luka Bloom at the Blue Mountains Music Festival today. Well, I did and he was wonderful. There something about men in their fifties I’m loving at the moment. They’ve got to some place of wry acceptance of their lives which makes them much more human and good to be with. They’re now how we wanted them to be in their 20s and 30s. But they couldn’t be and we were off on our own ego driven frolics. That’s one of the best aspects of ageing - you do tend to let go of your ego. All the silliness you once thought was important, goes by the wayside and you’re able to look at men, who once you would have been judgmental and impatient with, as humans just trying to exist on the planet, muddling along. Just like you. Just like me.

Luka Bloom falls into the category of the thinking woman’s sex symbol. Along with other men like Harvey Keitel and Paul Kelly. Imperfect, fallible and irresistible. The kind of man you want to get drunk and talk with all night with before falling into bed to have clumsy, hilarious sex, then get up in the morning and take up talking where you left off. Or maybe you didn’t. These kind of men talk a lot.

(BTW, go immediately to the Paul Kelly site and watch a clip of him, Kev Carmody and John Bulter sing the anthemic song From Little Things Big Things Grow - a song about aboriginal rights.)

The song Luka Bloom is most famous for (I think) is Monsoon, and he sang it while the heavens opened and drenched all those not under the marquee. I don’t think anyone minded too much. That song has the effect of reducing me to a puddle anyway. And he also sang a classic Australian song by Hunters and Collectors, Throw Your Arms Around Me, another song that can reduce me to a puddle.

Other great performers where Pacific Curls, a Maori/NZ Scots women’s group who were gorgeous and Kate Miller-Heidke who had the most incredible range. Sounds a bit like Kate Bush.

I’ll wander up the road later and take in some more fun.

Barbara Samuel has written a post about feathers and why they are important in her life. He blog is one of my favourites and I thank Mel for guiding me to it. I loved Barbara’s column in Romance Writer’s Review, the monthly magazine from Romance Writers of America so I was happy I could continue reading her wonderfully spiritual words of wisdom about writing, cooking and the other important events of life.

Her post made me think about my own talisman, the nautilus. If you look up Wiki, you’ll find a post on the marine creature which is interesting, but I love the image of the nautilus as an empty shell. It’s perfect, but it also looks like a puzzle or a refuge. It symbolises a traveling out and a burrowing in which I find comforting and full of possibilities.

I suppose it’s a bit like me. I like to engage with the world with passion and excitement but then I have to retreat to recoup. Mars in Cancer. I’m very watery. When I’m not being a stolid, earthy Taurus.

I wrote 252 words yesterday. Better than nothing which is what I’ve written today. I feel a burrowing nautilus moment descending.

I had dinner last night with a good friend who’s a forensic psychologist. We were talking about psychopaths (as you do) and got onto Tony Soprano. I’ve only watched a couple of episodes of The Sopranos, but think I might have to have another look.

It’s claimed one of the common characteristics of psychopaths is their lack of empathy and remorse. Some also say they don’t experience shame. My friend and I wondered about that. We’ve both worked in the prison system and came across many people who could be considered psychopathic, but have quite a significant emotional life. Their emotions are chaotic, and fall into that general anti social personality disorder range, but the main thing they had in common with other people was their ability to feel shame. It’s their reaction to it that sets them apart.

When most people feel shame, it’s unpleasant. Maybe they’ve done something to hurt someone and they feel ashamed. Generally their reaction would be to feel guilt and then remorse and mostly want to make it up to the person they’ve hurt. They may not act on those feelings but they do feel them.

The people I worked with in the prison system felt shame if they did something hurtful to another person, but their immediate reaction was to fall into rage. They blamed that other person for their unpleasant feeling and wanted to punish or destroy them. They didn’t feel guilt or remorse and certainly didn’t feel the need to make reparation to the other person.

We’ve all come across people like that in our lives. They may not be criminals, but they have a tendency to blame others and want to punish them for making them feel ashamed for their own bad behavior. It’s the reasoning behind the violent man blaming his wife or girlfriend for his violence. She bought it on herself for making him feel ashamed.

Why am I writing about this? It’s good to have well rounded characters in your work, including villains. A cardboard cut out psychopath is less interesting than a psychopath who loves his mother and is fiercely protective of his family. His bad behavior is all the more shocking if we can see him as someone having complex emotional reactions that make him sympathetic.

Thirteen Things about me at the moment I hate block cheese For the last few days I’ve had heart palpitations every time I have sugar I’m reading Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides I’ve finally figured out how to put an image in a Yahoo post (it took forever!) I need a new kitchen I have two writing projects I’m agonising over I worry I’ll never get anything finished My garden is out of control but does look beautiful I really want to see Luka Bloom on Saturday at the Blue Mountains Folk Festival A print of the Lady and the Unicorn from the Musee de Cluny is near my desk and when I’m looking for words I often stare at her I’d like more discipline I’d like to do more exercise I’d like more self acceptance Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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I’ve set a Yahoo group for to send out a newsletter. It will be quarterly or when I have a new release. You can join at the link on the right or email me and I’ll add you to the list. I’ll run an opening competition so stay tuned!

Over at Cobblestone-Mainstreet we’ve been posting pictures of our various desks. This is mine. It was taken at about 6.20am so it was still dark. I’d just had breakfast. Not as messy as Jenny Crusie’s but not is minimalist as Lynn Viehl . I don’t like the look of those wires. Must tidy them up.

I’ve been plugging away at one of my works in progress. Getting there, getting there. Kill your babies. That’s on my mind lately. Don’t fall so in love with your words or your ideas that you can’t let anything go. Be ruthless.

p.s. Happy International Womens’ Day!

Do you read erotica? One of my favourite erotica writers remittance girl needs to know something about your erotica reading habits. It’s completely anonymous and would help her complete her masters and also maybe provide some much needed information on the erotica readership. There isn’t much information around. While you’re there, do yourself a favour and read some of rg’s stories. They’re wonderful.